5 years down the drain

After working for 5 years and clocking way too many 16 hour workdays - this is what I realised today. Those 5 years of my life were really wasted... YES! when I was working - I served with my mind, body and soul -always trying to do more and help more people. And yet, today, I sadly realize that in those 5 years, I sold out myself and my sense of self worth in exchange for a fixed monthly salary.

I got lost, somewhere in the wilderness of the black business suits,the gleaming conference room tables, the flickering glow of unending rows of computers, the ubiquitous blackberries and the fake smiles. I never felt respected, appreciated or acknowledged for who or what I was. I never felt that I, as a person and my life as it is, mattered at all. Of course, I was always appreciated for being a work horse, but never for being just me. I, Neelu as person with feelings did not exist. All that existed was a closed box that could deliver results to her bosses. But for what was in the box itself - no one knew nor cared to know as long as "work was getting done'. Please don't get me wrong here, I am not some crazy egotist , but every now and then I like to be treated like a living, feeling person and not like a resource (actual term used at my previous company to refer to team members).

It has been 2 months since I have been with WWf(a)C in the capacity of a Volunteer staff member and a student. I have to admit - it is really amazing to be valued and respected for who and what you are. "Empowered" is a word that often pops up in conversations here at WWf(a)C and that is exactly how I feel - empowered and confident. I am in touch with myself and through it I feel in touch with the world around me. When I am working with Bron, Kathy, Katie and Mary - I feel special and happy, to be a contributing member of the team. For the first time in my adult life I am at a workplace that does not treat me as a pair of hands but as living person with heart, mind and a pair of hands(in that order).

But here is my problem: I start my second Masters this Fall and next year I will be out, looking for a full time paying job again. Having been here and seen the rosy wonderland of a passionate, supportive and "US" centered work life, I wonder how hard it is going to be, to go back and fit into the unfeeling, backstabbing, "I" centered corporate world. That is something only time can tell, but for now I want to leave you with a quote by Dalai Lama:

"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. "


I would love to hear your workplace stories - the happy one's, the not so happy one's, the weird one's and everything in between. Please visit our shiny new storyboard to post your stories.